Well having promised to keep you updated of the next Rosie instalments, I really haven't at all, have I? Nope.
I have been a bit all over the place really, in location as well as in my head, in the head.
Apparently being free is not as easy as it may seem. I had a lovely few weeks living in Plymouth, in a gorgeous 7th floor flat, over looking the Hoe and the sea. Being in a city and by the sea was great and really enjoyed exploring. Alas my loneliness tendencies caught up with me, as did most other things. I got very low and in the end couldn't cope on my own anymore. It's amazing how in such a short period of time you can have such happy moments and some of the most desperate.
I left Plymouth earlier than planned and headed up to stay with my lovely sister. I needed love and cuddles and as my only source of that she let me come share her home. We haven't lived together since I was 12! It is not all roses, but having someone else around helps me and her I hope. I got myself a job at the beginning of December, working as a hotel receptionist. It was great to be able to work and the novelty of being able to work is still there, I enjoyed having a purpose again and something to make myself get up however much I wanted to dissapear into the base of the bed and never come out.
Sadly yet perhaps not that surprising, I got quite run down and last week suffered a bit of a relapse of old health issues, which I hoped were buried away. I returned to work after a couple of days, which only ended up being a tough lesson in not listening to my body.
I heard it loud and clear and decided to quit my job. My body has an amazing ability to tell me when things are wrong (and right), I am just sometimes too stubborn to listen to it and feel that it is failing. Also doing what I feel I should or what is expected by others tends to take over.
So my late New Years resolution is to do what is right for me, not what I fell I should do or what would be expected and accepted by others. Those who are special enough will just accept me for me. I hope!
So here I am, sitting in a messy house in the Cotswolds, with two old dogs, with 2 months to fill.
I return to the boat in April and just cannot wait. Life on dry land and what I call 'normal' life just doesn't fit me, I feel like an imposter. Going to and from the same place each day sends me into a coma like trance. I need travel back in my life.
I have been to the edge and back in the last couple of months, but am now feeling a little positivity that I can make happy again.
Sorry for deep post, just decided there was not much point if I just pretended all was fluffy and pink!
Rxxx
